January 16th, 2004.

Watching too many movies, not getting enough done. It’s like we’ve fallen into a patch of slack. Starting Sunday, that will change again, but I always feel guilty for sitting still.

Today, Heather’s started “Sleepers” on the On-Demand somethin somethin. It’s already covered man’s inhumanity to man when man doesn’t see a man as another man – and now it looks like we’re going to head into child abuse.

Movies like this leave a bad taste in my mouth. Rape and abuse scenes as a whole make me feel ill. There’s enough of that in the real world, and enough of that has happened in MY world that I don’t really have a need to see it in cushy movie seats with M&Ms and soda.

It’s such a massively self-propogating problem. Abused children grow into children who can’t control themselves, and maybe have kids themselves at age 13. And from there there is nothing but a cycle of destruction. It’s nothing more than a disease, with the individual viruses spreading and spreading. Exponentially, with only one or two children escaping here and there out of thousands and thousands of… angry animals who were never equipped to deal with the world.

And with that going on in the world – why the desire to have it… beautified or glorified? If these movies sent profits to … to help the problem or something… instead, I don’t think it leaves any impression half the time – people watch this, are amused by it, and might even cringe, but leave as unaffected as the children doing time in this movie.

We should take joy, and take amusement out of the good things. Like kittens. Cats are usually afraid of water. But Caramia – Caramia saw a toilet for the first time a couple of days ago – and joyously went for a swim. She was so happy

But in the meantime I watch prison guards beating children with mud and sticks. And don’t forget the blow jobs and anal rape.

I guess, especially since it seems to be a period movie, it’s so easy for people to think – this is all past tense. “How good it is that this doesn’t happen any more”.

Ah – well that’s ok then. With the abuse, the children grow up hard and mean, and capable of killing the guard. Which they do… that makes everything even out, right? And makes for a happy (enough) ending.

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