May 19th, 2004.

Oof – having a nasuea morning. My stomach is dispairing at the mere fact of it’s own existance. It’s grey outside, and I don’t feel too disimilar on the inside. Grey and roiling.

How can one resist a fine, fat, tempting slug? They are Lovely and lush and just MELT on the tongue
How can one resist a fine, fat, tempting slug? They are Lovely and lush and just MELT on the tongue

I’m also realizing I’m just going to HAVE to learn about networking on this computer, as in the process of fixing my wireless connection (which has now died), we’ve screwed up my simple and theoretically immutable right to simply connect through cables.

I’m left bereft in an isolated box.

This morning’s shower reminded me of old childhood fears – provided exacting imagery.

It’s difficult being a visual person, sometimes. Graphic thoughts can flood your head, I’ve always visualized things better than is perhaps healthy for me, and visuals get stuck in my head and haunt me for years.

With a lead-in like that, perhaps you’re wondering – was it murder that I witness that haunts me in the shower to this day? Perhaps some childhood mauling by a large fish?

Nope – the Greatest American Hero. Remember him? Believe it or not, he’s walking on air, believe it or not, it’s just him. There was an episode about a sea monster. People disappearing off the decks of boats with naught bust seaweed remaining on the deck as evidence. I think over the course of the episode, most of the disappearances are traced back to a human element, perhaps using some sort of monster mannekin.

And just when you think it’s safe to go back in the water – just before the credits roll, the cheesiest looking sea-monster head comes popping up out of the water, filling the screen with it’s silver eyes and greenish scales. It’s pathetic, it scared the shit out of me, and even now, searching for the episode, I’m wary of what comes up – cautiously peeking over the edge of another window to see what the loading page reveals.

There’s one particular image of the chupacabra that does the same thing to me. It’s uncomfortable to look at, and then sticks with me for days.

Anywho, so Life can be going great for months, and then for some reason this image of this HEAD rising up behind me (reading – I learn it’s name was “Carrie” and was supposed to be responsible for the disappearances of ships in the Bermuda Triangle) in the shower… and from there to the end of my greatly accelerated ablutions I can’t close my eyes, and end up feverishly looking over my shoulder.

Not nearly as bad as it used to be… but still… kind of pathetic. Sigh.

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