I hate it.
I hate how my brain just rehashes, reviews, reshows things.
It’s 2.30 in the morning and my brain keeps sending tendrils of awareness through every inch of my body. I’m overly aware of the fabric on which I’m not sleeping, I’m overly conscious of the noises of the trucks on I-40, the distant police sirens, the muttering of the wind. My stomach, the weight of my skin, the soft tones of the hiss of the air… the feeling of both having a dry mouth AND a belly too full of liquid. Distant helicopter. The itch of my hair against my scalp.
I hate conflict, but I hate being taken advantage of even more, so I’m dropping out of a gig that I’m supposed to play on Wednesday night because yesterday the venue suddenly sent me two contracts of dense legalese – for a no-pay showcase “opportunity” – one that I’d totally asked for… its a Wednesday night, a showcase that plenty of friends seem to have performed at – but perhaps none of them read the contract? Oh who knows.
Plenty of bullshit clauses that are sort of the typical “you have no-one to blame but yourself if our gear electricutes you or you fall off our stage” corporate liability clause… and then the less typical “we’re going to record you and take video of your performance and though we might give it to you if you ask and you can use that as you please* we can use it for anything and forever and for any ‘entity'” – and the venue is a hotel chain – so the hotel chain can re-edit and do whatever they please with my music? In perpetuity? And use it for any one else they see fit to hand it over to?
No – I don’t think that’s an appropriate clause to include. They refer to it as “work-for-hire” in the contract, and that’s a pretty specific type of clause. “Work-for-hire” work, well, you’ve got to charge more because you get royalties, and you don’t “work-for-hire” for no pay.
So – yeah. And the gig’s been booked for several months and they send me the contract the Saturday night before the gig? As if this kind of language is completely normal?
And so my brain is whirring away on this, wondering what kind of person I’m coming across as because obviously I’m the ONLY PERSON EVER who’s had a problem with this contract, and I haven’t heard back from the woman who had put the date together even though I’ve now sent three emails – one raising questions about the contracts, the second saying the contracts were unacceptable and the third saying I was stepping out of the showcase… see points one and two.
I’m tired and I’m getting angry and the latter is keeping me from falling prey to the former. I can feel my pores opening up. Sweating. Because I don’t like conflict but I feel like I’m gearing up for a fight.
Oh – and that *? THAT part of the contract is followed by two seemingly mutually exclusive clauses, the first saying that I can use the videos too as long as the company’s trademark doesn’t appear in the video, the second saying that the company’s trademark better not be removed from the video.
Sigh.
Everyone wants to fuck musicians. But not in the good way.
