I’m getting roadsick. Not, as the word may imply, sick of the road, but rather following the nomenclature of the word “homesick”. Missing the road.
Next week we head out again, thank goodness, lest I go stir crazy. I’ve caught my inner-monologue plotting destruction and mischeif, and I’m afraid that those around me don’t really understand the difference between MY plotting and that of my inner monologue. It’s two totally different things.
Still, they’d all be in trouble if I could hang from the ceiling from my nails, skittering noisilessly across the lamps and down the walls and then LEAPING on HAPLESS HEADS!!!
But again, I stress, that this is just my inner monologue, and has nothing to do with me.
Heather’s been really nastily sick, and could be relied upon to supply Jiffy Lube for their lubricatory supplies if she were so called upon.
I swear, snot needs to be harnessed, much like lightning and fire and the power of Asian grandmothers – it needs to be turned to good use. And when you catch a cold or something that substantially ups your production, you get sent off to the snot farms, where they plug your nostrils with little suction hoses.
The sound would be unsavoury, but the good to mankind and the environment would be incalculable. I’m not really sure where mucous falls on various viscosity and pH and Stuff charts, but I’m sure it could replace motor oil, or on the opposite side of the spectrum: glue. Of course, then we’d have to find a use for all of our ground up dead cow parts, but I’m sure McDonalds can use them for something.
Well, I can hear Jason yelling “RAAAAAHB!!!” – so I think I’ll change the subject. – Went to see Kill Bill Vol. 2 last night, which was most spectacular. I heard a couple of
people mutter that it wasn’t as good as the first one, which, from a strictly action point of view, was true – but there was PLOT!!! And… something so very rare in a Tarantino flick – GOOD PLOT!!!
Well worth seeing, really.
Anywho, went with a bunch of friends to the sold-out premiere, and you’d think that all the people that go to a sold-out opening night will be hard-core fans… having watched the first one at least twice and have been waiting with baited breath (what does that MEAN really?) for this second and final installment…
But noooo… there were people who exclaimed with surprise and annoyance when the Bride’s name was bleeped out (just like in the first movie) – but perhaps this was explicable, in that we’d had quite the technical difficulties, with the film itself starting about 15 minutes late, and then once it finally got rolling, we got treated to the VERY DISTURBING image of Uma Thurman hanging upside down on the screen before us, speaking backwards… till they rethreaded the projector the RIGHT way.
Uma Thurman speaking backwards is just… queer.
Anywho, note to self – get other people to say fucked up stuff, because the quote page is getting one-sided, what with Ray constantly pinning me down and writing my own quotes on my arms so I have no excuse not to upload them.
Pling. Gonna go watch JR.
