What do you put in one’s journal while one’s at home? Appreciation of friends and family, I suppose. Little details about practice n stuff. (Ha, we’re working up a cover of Ministry’s “So What” for our Halloween gig tomorrow.
Perhaps I should just expound on my wonder at autumn? An old girlfriend wrote today, reminding me how beautiful the world was, and reminding me how beautiful her writing was. She reminded me of the leaves and the creatures and the threatening crisp outside.
It’s hard being out on the road when one is affection-oriented as I am. You want hugs and constant contact and fluttering eye-lashes, and you have to take what you can get in concentrated by fleeting doses as you pass through your hometown. Old friends and old girlfriends, friendly words and friendly fingers. Someone brushes my hair here, and there’s no threat, no misunderstanding there, we can just be comfortable to one another.
Out in the real world, if I look at someone the wrong way, I might get maced.
No good, no good at all.
Tomorrow night is a full-band show at the Vault. I’m nervous about it, and angry. What WAS going to be a huge event has been somewhat downsized by the venue at the last second, and I’m somewhat displeased about that. I advertised to my FANS that it was going to have all these cool things… re-enactments of horror movies, a haunted house… none of these things shall exist. I worry that we’ll be letting people down.
I guess we just play harder… but I always worry about letting everyone down.
